Frappuccino Fatty

"Do you know why I gained so much weight? STARBUCKS! I was addicted to frappuccinos. I bought my first one at 7-11, drank it in the car, liked it so much that I made a u-turn, went back to the store, bought a six-pack and drank them all." -Mike, a guy who works at my gym (?!) and obviously has a much more serious Starbucks problem than I do.