In honor of UVA's bowl game today: "In recent years college officials have become increasingly alarmed by the dramatic population boom of the Homo Gatorus; i.e. the PREPPIE. According to experts, the 'Preppie disease', which strikes thousands of youths each year, invariably leaves its victim suffering from clotheserphobia - an intense desire to dress like Mr. Rummage Sale of 1960. Most Preppies also experience an insatiable thirst for alcoholic beverages which often results in the unique honor of graduating from college Magna Cum Loaded. Experts have further distinguished Preppie victims by their dancing style, mannerisms, social rank, monitary worth, and self-love. Currently, there are only two known cures for this disease: Reincarnation or Bankruptcy. To determine if you have contacted and been infected by the Preppie germ, study the picture below and rank yourself according to the following scale: 18-21 Ultra Prep; 14-17 Moderate or Intermediate Prep; 10-13 Pseudo Prep; 9 or less Normal." -Tom Shadyac's 1979 poster; read the article here.
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